Grey Horse Creative Information
 THE GREY  HORSE NOW HAS A LIVING FACEBOOK PAGEClick on the thing (above).So you can comment, like things, scribble on walls and be social and stuff. | |
18/02/2012 THE OLYMPIC GAMES Consett was today disappointed with the news that the proposed Olympic Stone Skimming event will not now be held in Consett. The proposed venue, which would have been converted into a sanctuary for the endangered Consett penguin will not now be built. However, it has been confirmed that Stotty Hoyin - see right - will be a major event, rivalling the 100m dash for popularity. Consett's own hoyer and all round athlete Willie Sprinkler will be amongst the favourites to take gold. |  |
03/02/2012 POLITICS The politician Eric Gadgie (pictured right) was charged today in Consett City Court with being a pervert in the course of justice. It is alleged that Mr. Gadgie told fibs to Chief Inspector Sarkozy while helping police with their enquiries into the Bra Shop raid last year. He said that the bra he was wearing was from a well known high street store and that he was wearing it on behalf of his estranged wife, Samantha age 24, Capricorn. | |
03/02/2012 BUSINESS NEWS The news that Dave, Lord Sproat - Chairman of Consett Global Asset Management and tab manufacturer has accepted his annual bonus of £2 5s 7d has gone down well with the citizens of Consett. It is well known that the people of Consett are possibly the richest but most generous in the country. Lord Sproat has decided to donate this considerable sum of money to benefit the poor. He is giving the whole amount to the Soup Kitchens of Tunbridge Wells and Windsor (in the impoverished South East). This is on the proviso that the soup is served with stotties. | |
23/01/2012 The Consett City Gazette was under pressure last night as it was revealed that local supermodel Gladys Radiator has had her pigeons hacked. Using refined technology of a long stick and net, it seems that personal messages to long term boyfriend, the rapper Smiley Grin, were intercepted on more than one occasion. Police Chief Sarkozy refused to comment on an ongoing investigation but it is thought that notorious spy, burglar and philanthropist Horace Flange is helping with enquiries. The Grey Horse does not condone this insidious practice and maintains a high standard of ethics when reporting important local events. |
 Gladys and Friend Yesterday (picture by H. Flange) |
21/01/2012 - SPORT The controversial name change of the new home of European Cup challengers Villa Real, Consett proposed by the new owner Mike Ghastley, a Southerner, will not now go ahead. General manager Eric Llama has confirmed that the name is, and will ever be, St Jordan's, named after the patron saint of bouncy castles. Ghastley, the CEO of a huge vegetable empire wanted to rename the ground "Sprouts Direct Arena" but this was turned down by a huge majority. Once again, Consett is confirmed as the cradle of democracy. | |
Templetown is ablaze with celeb gossip today, with the news that Pintwood Studios are going to remake Gone With The Wine with Kath Landlady in the leading role of Captain Scarlett. it is thought she was offered the part during the recent Mysteron Tour. The rumour mill is also suggesting that Pintwood are negotiating remakes of Some Like It White Hot, Apackofcrisps Now and Men in Blackhill. This follows on from the fantastic success of Wor Horse currently breaking box office records all around the world. | |
31/12/2011 NEW YEARS HONOURS Congratulations to those in our community who have received honours this year. Ron G. Turning of Consett High Performance Motors becomes a BCE (Bingo Caller at the Empire) and Chief Inspector Sarkozy of the Yard has been awarded the Consett Order of the Garter, following his solving of the mysterious Bra Lady's burglary. | |
24/12/2011 GARDENER'S CORNER Watch out for reindeer droppings tomorrow morning. If you are out early morning these can be an aerial hazard, but later in the day you can use them in the garden to ward of pests such as ghosts and brown growlers from your borders. Winter flowering Chlamydia also benefit from a regular sprinkling. | |
23/12/2011 A CHRISTMAS MESSAGE FROM SAFFRON TROUSERS MP
Bat the recession is looming. I am speaking to you from are villa in Bali - please see piccy - where we too have had to tighten are belts. Relactantly we have had to let are maid go (she poot glarss in the barth and I cat my ****). So as we begin this festive season I implore you not to be too silly with your Gold American Express cards. Jest purchase four traffles instead of six, cat down on Lobster and go easy on Champagne. One wishes all one's drinking partners in the lynge and the bar of the Grey Horse seasonal felicitations with air kisses to everyone. Caddles from SAFFY xxx | |
23/12/2011 POLICE NOTICE Will the Great Pansy of the Royal and Ancient Temple of Consett Druids please return to Consett Great Pyramid and pick up the beer cans and ladies underwear that they left after celebrating the winter solstice last night. Chief Inspector Sarkozy is not impressed. | |
GREY HORSE WILILEAKS - Keep us Strange Bildaburger Group Meeting Minutes
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THE UNIVERSITY OF CONSETT - A Real Ale University Please see the archives for further information
Certificate of Time Travel (pdf 232kb) | |
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11/01/2012 CELEBRITY GOSSIP
